Welcome to THE BALANCE PROJECT: a series of relevant and refreshingly candid interviews featuring inspiring and accomplished women talking about balance. I’ve always been curious about how women I admire manage the tragically glorified “doing it all” craze. So I asked them. As I suspected, no one really does “it all.” Everyone’s making sacrifices somewhere. And that should make us all feel a little better. I hope the conversation will be steered toward that reality rather than toward the flawed and dangerous assumption that we should try—or even want to try—to perfectly do “it all.”

By the way, looking for THE BALANCE PROJECT novel that was inspired by these interviews? It’s here.

No. 147: Nicole Waggoner, Author

Age: 34
Where I live:
 Norman, Oklahoma
Job: Author, Manuscript Coach, Literature Criticism Teacher
Kids: A son, Noah (8), and a daughter, Maya (5)

AFIMG_0291Have you changed jobs or adjusted anything in your career to have more balance?
Teaching will always be my first love. Any former student of mine will attest that I ran a fast-paced, inclusive class often dubbed “stand-up comedy English.” There is something truly validating about holding a class of teenagers’ attention and helping them to unlock the power of the written word as critically thinking individuals.

In 2007, I was pregnant with my first child and planned to take the following year off to stay home with him full time. What felt like the right decision for my family left me torn between the desire to give this new chapter full of unknowns all of me and an ache at leaving behind the career I loved. The week before I delivered found me mutually guilt-laden about leaving the 155 students who were also “my kids” and fielding well-meaning inquiries about how much I was needed and would be missed. I worked until the day my son arrived and took my leave.

A few weeks into my “new normal” of euphoric love, bleeding nipples, and navigating a level of fatigue I never fathomed, my phone rang. It was my principal saying that he had just come from a meeting with the superintendent in which he, my colleagues, and several students’ parents made a case for me to be offered a part-time position (teaching three morning classes). I’ll never forget standing in the kitchen listening to his message, feeling a spark ignite inside at the idea of having both mornings with my students and afternoons with my son, and whispering to myself, “You can do this.”

I’d like to tell you my beloved newborn cooed at my words as I nuzzled him and told him we were a team and would figure it out. I did nuzzle and he did blow a diaper. I kept that schedule for three years, then parlayed my reputation into a private position that required two full days a week teaching formal writing and literature courses as I welcomed our second child.

There were thorns and roses. Days when drop-off was brutal and the mommy-guilt whispered through my day. Days when the reality of completing a full-time job in part-time hours with part-time childcare hit like a hurricane. Days when I peeked through their classroom windows in awe at all they were learning from their teachers. Days when they beamed with pride when mommy’s students talked about her or she won an award. Days when I felt like both of my purposes were being fulfilled. Days when I felt like I was failing at both. It was a juggling act of compartmentalization that would eventually manifest itself into the characters of my novel Center Ring and the many different roles they play.

Do you think having “it all” is realistic or overrated and why?
I think it’s realistic to have everything you need, but I think the concept of having “it all” is a facade. There’s a missing piece in everyone’s puzzle no matter how things look from the outside.

What part of “balance” can you just not seem to figure out?
Sleep and exercise. I haven’t slept regularly since my son was born in 2007, and have an on again/off again relationship with the gym.

What part of “balance” are you getting better at?
My writing schedule. At the beginning, I was writing early in the morning, between classes, late at night, and during nap times. I still write every day, but in three-to-four hour windows depending on the stage (organic, self-edit, bridge, tuning).

Do you have a favorite time management tool, hack, or other strategy you use that helps you achieve balance that you would recommend to others?
Aside from the calendar on my phone, the Listopia app is my BFF.

What was the best advice you ever heard on balance?
From a mentor/co-worker? “You will always make time for the things you care about.”
From your mother? 
“Think before you speak, but don’t speak all you think.”
From your spouse?
 “Work for what you want, so you’ll want what you get. Do what others won’t.”
From your kids? My kids are my biggest cheerleaders. We have a lot of family mottos I call “Waggonerisms.” My favorites are “I can only get better.”; “Give more than you get.”; and “Happy hearts can’t lose.”

If you had one extra hour in each day and you couldn’t work or be with your family, how would you spend that hour?
In theory, exercising. In reality, curled up plowing through my to-be-read list or cooking to music in my kitchen.

What do you wish you’d known when you were 20?
To be patient. That I’ll know it when I see it.

What do you hope to know by time you’re 60?
How to be comfortable in my own skin and to be at peace with the changes in my body, then and now.

What part of your home life do you wish you could outsource?
Laundry!!!! Every time I start a load (and often have to re-wash it once it’s orphaned), I remind myself I could be living in a washboard-and-lye-soap era. I may or may not have had to wear black swim bottoms as underwear last week.

Whose job do you wish you had?
I would like to be a professional resort critic paid to enjoy food and wine at the world’s best beaches and locales.

Whose job are you glad you don’t have?
I am glad I am not a politician or in any profession requiring a working knowledge of north, south, east, and west.

Favorite books?
I have too many to count so I will type until someone yells “Mommy”—Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, A Separate Peace by John Knowles, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien, Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin, Something Blue by Emily Giffin, The Balance Project by Susie Orman Schnall, The Paris Wife by Paula McLain, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith, Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding, Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner, The Beach House by Jane Green.

What are you reading right now?
The Goodbye Year by Kaira Rouda.

Biggest vices…
Activity?
 Netflix binges.
Food? Wine.
Website? Facebook. All. The. Way.

How many hours do you generally sleep at night during the week?
On average, 5 to 6 hours a night.

What do you read every morning?
theSkimm! I feel about theSkimm like most people feel about coffee.

Complete the following sentences:
I think I: have more stories to tell about women becoming a sisterhood of the tightrope and supporting each other.
I wish I: could give women and girls all over the world access to a safe education.
My kids: are unconditional love personified.

Do you have a personal motto or favorite saying?
“If not now, then when?” And “Don’t wish for it, work for it.”

518n39xJ-3L._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_About Nicole:
Nicole Waggoner is the author of the Circus of Women Trilogy. Book One, Center Ring, debuts April 26th, 2016. In addition, Nicole is a decorated teacher with 12 years’ experience teaching upper-level English and literary criticism courses. She is proud to call her husband and children her biggest fans. The other loves of her life include green tea, great conversation over vino, all things theater, women’s health, and a fanatical commitment to live her belief that love is a verb to be paid forward.

Find out more about Nicole:
www.nicolewaggonerauthor.com
Twitter: @nicoleCDFauthor
Facebook: NicoleWaggonerAuthorCircusofWomen
Instagram: @nicolewaggonertheauthor
Pinterest: nnwaggoner

WANT TO READ MORE ABOUT WORK-LIFE BALANCE? CHECK OUT MY NOVEL THE BALANCE PROJECT!

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