Welcome to THE BALANCE PROJECT: a series of relevant and refreshingly candid interviews featuring inspiring and accomplished women talking about balance. I’ve always been curious—and maybe a little obsessed—about how women I admire manage the tragically glorified “doing it all” craze. So I asked them. As I suspected, no one really does “it all.” Everyone’s making sacrifices somewhere. And that should make us feel a little better. I hope the conversation will be steered toward that reality rather than toward the flawed and dangerous assumption that we should try—or even want to try—to perfectly do “it all.”
2015 marks the second full year of The Balance Project! And there’s lots in store: First, The Balance Project is celebrating its first birthday. Read all about how it got started and what I’ve learned from it here. Second, my second book, THE BALANCE PROJECT: A NOVEL, will be published in April. It’s women’s fiction and it was inspired by these interviews. More about that here. Third, in preparation for the launch and because these interviews have received such tremendous response, I will publish new interviews two or three times per week, not just on Fridays. Finally, check out the article Fortune ran about The Balance Project. Thank you for your continued support!
No. 56: Nicola Kraus, Author and Creative Coach
Age: 40
Where I live: Brooklyn, NY
Job: Creative Coach and co-author of 10 novels, including The Nanny Diaries
Kids: A daughter, Sophie (5)
Have you changed jobs or adjusted anything in your career to have more balance?
I unwillingly gave up the sweet hours—5 to 8pm, the time of day when the email went quiet and I could pound out those last 1,000 words until my husband got in the door. Now I drop my work mid-sentence at 4:50 to dash to pickup. Next year it’ll be 4:20! But my daughter has promised she’ll play in her room for forty more minutes while I finish my work. We’ll see . . . The upside of having been a nanny is that I have a visceral sense of how fast it all goes, so I try to remind myself that pretty soon she’ll get home later than my husband.
Do you think having “it all” is realistic or overrated and why?
I think it’s a funny concept. No one has it all. I don’t have a yard. I don’t have a brother. My best friend never knew her father. We all choose experiences and miss out on other ones. Working outside the home is a driving force in my blood. It was never in question. Is it hard to feel that constant pressure to perform as a mother and as a provider? Yes. Today I cried outside school when the teacher sprung on me that I was supposed to be there when they passed out the cupcakes I baked from scratch the night before. NEVER move the finish line on a working mom.
What part of “balance” can you just not seem to figure out?
I wish I prioritized date nights more. I get out with a girlfriend at least one night a week. But we don’t go out, the two of us, unless we’re invited somewhere. It’s so important. Maybe you are inspiring me to make this my new year’s resolution.
What part of “balance” are you getting better at?
I don’t think I’m getting better, my daughter’s getting older. And she LOVES housework.
What was the best advice you ever heard on balance from a mentor/co-worker? My agent said, “A happy woman is a happy mother is a happy home.” I.e., put the mask over your own nose and mouth first. I never forgot it.
If you had one extra hour in each day and you couldn’t work or be with your family, how would you spend that hour?
Meditation. And reading something substantive and nourishing.
What do you wish you’d known when you were 20?
What a credit score is.
What do you hope to know by the time you’re 60?
What a credit score is.
What one part of your home life do you wish you could outsource?
Cooking! I learned how to cook this year. But if little elves did it for me, I’d much rather spend that hour playing with my daughter.
Whose job do you wish you had?
Tina Fey’s.
Whose job are you glad you don’t have?
Barack Obama’s.
Favorite books?
I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb and The Regeneration Trilogy by Pat Barker.
What are you reading right now?
Money—Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom by Tony Robbins. I am trying to grow up.
Biggest vices…
Food? Wine and pudding.
Website? YouTube, old talk show clips.
How many hours do you generally sleep at night during the week?
8 or I die.
What do you read every morning?
The New York Times on paper. Til the day they stop printing it.
Complete the following sentences:
I think I: can help.
I wish I: had a massage booked.
My kid: is the light of my life. Especially when she says, “Oh bugger.”
Do you have a personal motto or favorite saying?
“It’s a start.”
About Nicola:
Nicola Kraus is the co-author of the #1 International Bestseller The Nanny Dairies and nine other novels. Her next, How To Be a Grown-Up, will be out on July 28th. She is also the co-founder of The Finished Thought, personal trainers for your creative process.
Find more about Nicola here:
www.thefinishedthought.com
www.emmaandnicola.com
Twitter: @NannyDiaries
Facebook: EmmaAndNicola
Instagram: TheRealNannyDiaries
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THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 3: Emily Liebert, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 4: Lyss Stern, Mom-trepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 5: Lauren Slayton, Nutritionist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 6: Elizabeth Moyer, Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 7: Annabel Monaghan, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 8: Holly Gordon, Director
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 9: Jill Salzman, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 10: Jennifer Levinson, Jen’s List
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 11: Jenny Hutt, Media Personality
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 12: Angela Santomero, Kids’ Media Creator
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 13: Carola Donato, Yogi
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 14: Tiffany Washington, Pastry Designer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 15: Emily Giffin, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 16: Alana Sanko, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 17: Cara Lemieux, Journalist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 18: Liz Fenton & Lisa Steinke, Authors
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 19: Nikki Mark, Author & Foundation Director
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THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 21: Jill Bryan, Comedian
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 22: Cindy Callaghan, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 23: Stephanie Hirsch, Artist
My Times of India Interview on Work-Life Balance
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 24: Whitney Dineen, Author/Baker
AmEx’s Sobbott on Balance
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 25: J0-Laine Duke-Collins, Dessert Stylist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 26: Whitney English, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 27: Jennifer Gooch Hummer, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 28: Melissa Amster, Book Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 29: Nigel Marsh, Author and Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 30: DayNa Decker, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 31: Amy Selling, Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 32: Heather Sonnenberg, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 33: Allison Winn Scotch, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 34: Bibi Kasrai, Entrepreneur and Chef
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 35: Karen Sutton MD, Orthopaedic Surgeon
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 36: Samantha Ettus, Balance Expert, Author, TV/Radio Personality
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 37: Pam Yudko, Holistic Health and Transformational Coach
THE BALANCE PROJECT| No. 38: Nancy Huang, Nonprofit Outreach Director
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 39: Mary Laura Philpott, Writer, Editor and Illustrator
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 40: Towanda Long, Marketing Communications Specialist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 41: Kristyn Kusek Lewis, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 42: Tracy Pollan, Actor and Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 43: Christianne Phillips, Fitness Consultant and Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 44: Susannah Lewis, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 45: Kimi Culp, Producer, Author and Creative Consultant
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 46: Traci Bild, Entrepreneur
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THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 47: Laura Vanderkam, Journalist and Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 48: Amy Tara Koch, Style Expert and Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 49: Cozy Friedman, Kids’ Hair Expert
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 50: Bobbii Hach-Jacobs, Music Promoter
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 51: Niketa Jhaveri, Game Creator and Web Designer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 52: Sheri Silver, Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 53: Lori Pollan, Cookbook Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 54: Chatón Turner, Attorney and Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 55: Joanne Wilson, Investor and Blogger