THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 137: Kimberla Lawson Roby, Author and Speaker

Welcome to THE BALANCE PROJECT: a series of relevant and refreshingly candid interviews featuring inspiring and accomplished women talking about balance. I’ve always been curious about how women I admire manage the tragically glorified “doing it all” craze. So I asked them. As I suspected, no one really does “it all.” Everyone’s making sacrifices somewhere. And that should make us all feel a little better. I hope the conversation will be steered toward that reality rather than toward the flawed and dangerous assumption that we should try—or even want to try—to perfectly do “it all.”

By the way, looking for THE BALANCE PROJECT novel that was inspired by these interviews? It’s here.

No. 137: Kimberla Lawson Roby, Author and Speaker

Age: 50
Where I live:
 Belvidere, IL
Job: Author and Speaker
Kids: One stepson, 39

Roby_Kimberla1AuthorPhotoHave you changed jobs or adjusted anything in your career to have more balance?
About a year ago, I finally made the decision to stop saying, “yes” to everyone. For nearly two decades, I’d felt a certain sense of guilt whenever I wanted to say “no” to family members, friends, or career-related acquaintances—so I rarely did—even though I knew my plate was much too full. However, when I suddenly found myself simultaneously writing day and night, trying to meet a tight deadline, and also traveling four weeks straight to speaking engagements, I ended up in the ER. My heart raced, I had shortness of breath, and there was heaviness in my chest. I was terrified, and while my ER doctor thought I might be having congestive heart failure, I was ultimately diagnosed with having an anxiety/panic attack. So now, I have no problem saying “no,” and I feel so much better because of it. I have more balance in my life today than I’ve had since I wrote my first book.

Do you think having “it all” is realistic or overrated and why?
I believe it’s a bit overrated. My mom used to say, “Don’t try to have all of everything. Work on having a “little” of everything you want, and you’ll be so much happier.” I agree with her completely. I think it’s great to enjoy as much as you want in moderation, versus trying to live by an all-or-nothing sort of philosophy. That way you can spend quality time with your spouse, children, extended family members, and friends and enjoy a fulfilling career.

What part of “balance” can you just not seem to figure out?
Well, interestingly enough, I just can’t seem to figure out how to get in enough “me” time! I love spending time with my husband, family, friends, and readers, but unfortunately, I don’t have a real hobby. My husband worries about that and is constantly encouraging me to do more for myself; however, I don’t tend to make that a priority. I will say, though, that I do love getting hot stone massages, specifically because of how my shoulders feel from sitting for hours in front of a computer, so I’ve at least made a pact with myself to schedule one every single month.

What part of “balance” are you getting better at?
I’m much better at not working past 5:00 or 6:00 PM unless it’s absolutely necessary. I made this decision right before the new year, and I can already feel the benefits, both physically and mentally.

Do you have a favorite time management tool, hack, or other strategy you use that helps you achieve balance that you would recommend to others?
I’ve really been making a conscious effort toward balancing the amount of time I spend on social media and the Internet as a whole. Right now, I try not to be online via computer or smartphone between the hours of 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM daily. I’m also back on track with getting on the treadmill for thirty minutes every day before I begin working.

What was the best advice you ever heard on balance?
From your mother? “Don’t try to do everything all at once.”
From your spouse/partner? “Slow down your schedule, and do something for yourself.”

If you had one extra hour in each day and you couldn’t work or be with your family, how would you spend that hour?
Getting a hot stone massage!

What do you wish you’d known when you were 20?
That life really is very short (just as my mom told me), and that we should cherish each and every day as though it were our last.

What do you hope to know by time you’re 60?
That I am walking fully and completely in God’s purpose for my life, and that there are cures for all major illnesses.

What part of your home life do you wish you could outsource?
Cooking!

Whose job are you glad you don’t have?
A job that wouldn’t allow me (at least for part of each week) to work from my home office.

Favorite books?
Your Blues Ain’t Like Mine by Bebe Moore Campbell.

What are you reading right now?
Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success by Steve Harvey.

Biggest vices…
Activity?
 Watching “Law & Order” and “Law & Order: SVU” marathon episodes and perusing social media.
Food? Dessert—particularly cupcakes or just about any kind of cake!
Website? Google–I love researching everything.

How many hours do you generally sleep at night during the week?
For the most part, seven.

What do you read every morning?
A daily devotional email: “Today’s Word with Joel and Victoria,” the book, The Confident Woman Devotional: 365 Daily Inspirations by Joyce Meyer, and my own emails.

Complete the following sentences:
I think I: have a purpose to inspire, help, and motivate women, and my goal is to do a lot more in that area.
I wish I: could still spend time with my amazing mom, who passed away at age 57. I wish I could eliminate all forms of racism and sexism worldwide.

Do you have a personal motto or favorite saying?
Yes, my personal motto is: “Believe in God, believe in yourself, believe in whatever you are trying to accomplish—believe in that order.” —Kimberla Lawson Roby

Anything else you’d like to add?
Thank you so much for inviting me to participate in such a wonderful project! I absolutely love all that you’re doing, Susie!

?????About Kimberla:
Kimberla Lawson Roby is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of 23 books, including Casting The First Stone, Sin No More, Deep Dark Secret, The Perfect Marriage, The Ultimate Betrayaland Best Friends Forever. Her 24th title, A Sinful Calling, will be released in June 2016. She has been featured in numerous publications such as the New York Times, Essence, Writer’s Digest, The Writer, Ebony, and upscale, to name a few, and she is the 2013 NAACP Image Award winner for Outstanding Literary Work–Fiction. Kimberla speaks at many events around the country, and in 1996, after receiving numerous rejection letters from both literary agents and publishers, she founded her own company Lenox Press. It was then that she self-published her debut novel, Behind Closed Doors, and within two months, she signed with an agent and a major publishing house for her second book. Kimberla resides in Illinois with her wonderful husband, Will, of 25 years.

Find out more about Kimberla:
www.kimroby.com
Facebook: KimberlaLawsonRoby
Twitter: KimberlaLRoby
Instagram: kimberlalawsonroby

WANT TO READ MORE ABOUT WORK-LIFE BALANCE? CHECK OUT MY NOVEL THE BALANCE PROJECT!

Related Posts
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 1: Jessica Mindich, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 2: Veronica Beard, Fashion Designer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 3: Emily Liebert, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 4: Lyss Stern, Mom-trepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 5: Lauren Slayton, Nutritionist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 6: Elizabeth Moyer, Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 7: Annabel Monaghan, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 8: Holly Gordon, Director
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 9: Jill Salzman, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 10: Jennifer Levinson, Jen’s List
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 11: Jenny Hutt, Media Personality
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 12: Angela Santomero, Kids’ Media Creator
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 13: Carola Donato, Yogi
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 14: Tiffany Washington, Pastry Designer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 15: Emily Giffin, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 16: Alana Sanko, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 17: Cara Lemieux, Journalist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 18: Liz Fenton & Lisa Steinke, Authors
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 19: Nikki Mark, Author & Foundation Director
Shonda Rhimes on Doing It All
Indra Nooyi on Balance
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 21: Jill Bryan, Comedian
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 22: Cindy Callaghan, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 23: Stephanie Hirsch, Artist
My Times of India Interview on Work-Life Balance
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 24: Whitney Dineen, Author/Baker
AmEx’s Sobbott on Balance
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 25: J0-Laine Duke-Collins, Dessert Stylist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 26: Whitney English, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 27: Jennifer Gooch Hummer, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 28: Melissa Amster, Book Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 29: Nigel Marsh, Author and Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 30: DayNa Decker, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 31: Amy Selling, Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 32: Heather Sonnenberg, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 33: Allison Winn Scotch, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 34: Bibi Kasrai, Entrepreneur and Chef
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 35: Karen Sutton MD, Orthopaedic Surgeon
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 36: Samantha Ettus, Balance Expert, Author, TV/Radio Personality
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 37: Pam Yudko, Holistic Health and Transformational Coach
THE BALANCE PROJECT| No. 38: Nancy Huang, Nonprofit Outreach Director
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 39: Mary Laura Philpott, Writer, Editor and Illustrator
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 40: Towanda Long, Marketing Communications Specialist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 41: Kristyn Kusek Lewis, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 42: Tracy Pollan, Actor and Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 43: Christianne Phillips, Fitness Consultant and Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 44: Susannah Lewis, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 45: Kimi Culp, Producer, Author and Creative Consultant
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 46: Traci Bild, Entrepreneur
The Balance Project Interview Series Turns 1!
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 47: Laura Vanderkam, Journalist and Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 48: Amy Tara Koch, Style Expert and Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 49: Cozy Friedman, Kids’ Hair Expert
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 50: Bobbii Hach-Jacobs, Music Promoter
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 51: Niketa Jhaveri, Game Creator and Web Designer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 52: Sheri Silver, Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 53: Lori Pollan, Cookbook Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 54: Chatón Turner, Attorney and Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 55: Joanne Wilson, Investor and Blogger
T
HE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 56: Nicola Kraus, Author and Creative Coach
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 57: Shiri Sarfati, Marketing Expert
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 58: Audrey McClelland, Entrepreneur and Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 59: Jessica Lahey, Writer and Teacher
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 60: Lindsay Bressler, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 61: Marie Claire Lim Moore, Banker, Author and Speaker
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 62: Stacey Ballis, Novelist and Cookbook Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 63: Amy Hochhauser: Co-Founder, JoyRide Cycling Studio
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 64: Molly Sims, Actress, Author and Humanitarian
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 65: Colleen Oakley, Writer and Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 66: Nichole Montoya, CEO of Cheddar Up
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 67: Eileen Palma, Author and Instructor
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 68: Adina Grigore, Founder of S.W. Basics
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 69: Dana Pollan, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 70: Melissa Hawks, Owner, The Well Appointed House
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 71: Emily Greenspan, Art Consultant
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 72: Michelle Hodges, Software Executive and See Girl Be Founder
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 73: Kendra Basner Mallen, Attorney
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 74: Alysa Bajenaru, Dietitian and Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 75: Anita Shepherd, Founder of Anita’s Yogurt
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 76: Dana Marlowe, President of IT Consulting Firm
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 77: Jill Royster, Marketing Consultant
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 78: Debra Olshan Cooper, Entrepreneur
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 79: Zainab Zaki, Technology Product Manager
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 80: Marisa de los Santos, Novelist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 81: Kamy Wicoff, Writer and Publisher
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 82: Kristy Woodson Harvey, Writer and Blogger
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 83: Jane Green, Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 84: Meredith Schorr, Author and Paralegal
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 85: Melissa Marks Papock, Founder of Cabana Life
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 86: Cindy Chupack, TV Writer/Producer and Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 87: Betsy Ames, Founder of Mindful Style
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 88: Erin Baebler, Author, Writer and Coach
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 89: Danielle Weisberg & Carly Zakin, Founders of theSkimm
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 90: Heather Bauer, Dietitian and Founder of Bestowed
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 91: Jennifer O’Regan, Teacher, Coach, Book Champion
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 92: Debbie Major, CEO of Zylofone and Performer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 93: Dorie Clark, Marketing Strategist, Author, Speaker, Professor
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 94: Peggy Davenport, Attorney
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 95: Terrianne Patnode, Attorney
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 96: Jillian Griffiths, Chief Operating Officer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 97: Gillian Zoe Segal, Author and Photographer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 98: Pauline Nakios, Apparel Company Owner
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 99: Jessie Rosen, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 100: Reese Witherspoon, Actor/Producer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 101: Elyssa Friedland, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 102: Lisa Reichmann and Julie Sapper, Running Coaches
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 103: Jackie Kolek, Communications Executive
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 104: Stacy Sukov Blackman, MBA Consultant
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 105: Nancy Easton, Wellness in the Schools Executive Director
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 106: Lisa Sugar, POPSUGAR Founder and Editor in Chief
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 107: Bobbi Rebell Kaufman, Reuters Anchor and Reporter
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 108: Jennifer Berson, PR Executive
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 109: Jo-Ná Williams, Attorney and IP/New Business Advisor
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 110: Susan Ascher, Author, Coach and Speaker
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 111: CC Minton, Author and Health Advocate
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 112: Sara Blakely, Founder of SPANX
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 113: Courtney Nichols Gould, Co-Founder & Co-CEO SmartyPants Vitamins
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 114: Kristy Wallace, COO of Ellevate Network
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 115: Kimra Luna, Personal Branding & Online Business Strategist
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 116: Jenna Segal, Producer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 117: Julie Hochheiser Ilkovich, Media Specialist/Career Expert
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 118: Khanh Nguyen, Fashion Designer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 119: Sarah Marie Martin, Investment Banker
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 120: Julie Fasone Holder, Management Advisor
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 121: Georgene Huang, Founder of Fairygodboss
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 122: Jordana Holovach, Branding Consultant
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 123: Lindsey Mead, Executive Recruiter
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 124: Kelley Spoljaric, Co-Founder and CMO of ComfortCam
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 125: Barbara Reich, Professional Organizer and Author
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 126: Ria Ruthsatz, Film Producer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 127: Jennifer Rispoli Hildebrand, Tax Director
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 128: Noelle Smith, Tax Manager
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 129: Loredana Pfannenbecker, Tax Director
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 130: Cherylanne Skolnicki, Life Design Coach
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 131: Melissa Plaskoff, Host of Carpool Talk Show
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 132: Monica Reccoppa, Finance Manager
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 133: Jenna Blum, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 134: Cristina Alger, Writer
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 135: Katie Brown: Founder/Owner of Fashion Line KBLA
THE BALANCE PROJECT | No. 136: Aidan Donnelley Rowley, Novelist

 

Leave A Comment